Roxas Journal
by Ventora
Summary: Roxas is wrighting a journal of his life, after Xon dissapears Roxas goes through troubles like: Axel go's evil, his memories are scattered, he is slacking in work... Roxas soon finds out that he has a "heart".


Roxas's Journal

My day was exrta seriouse today, and I want to remember

everyday now, so I got this jounal, some enteries will be

short, and some long, well here it goes.

Day 99

"Hey Roxas!" Axel yelled as he waved his hand in front of my

face. "You Awake? You've been like this since the,

incedent.." he said

"What! Oh sorry Axel, I was just thinking... I don't remember

anything. Like there is something I need to remember."

I mumbled.

Axel looked at me as if I forgot who he was. Axel lifted his

hand and put it on my head. He messed up my hair while he

laughed "Ya lost it Roxas, your completly crazy!"

I pushed his hand off my head.

"I am seriouse Axel, I need to remember..."

Axel put his knee up on to the edge of the tower, he stared at

me for at least a minuit. Than he looked towards the moon.

"Ya know Roxas, the moon is just another empty world, full

of empty people like us." Axel looked back at me,

"Except, when I am with you, Roxas,"

I looked up at Axel, with a questioned look.

Axel grinned.

"I feel like a someboy, like I matter."

"Yeah, same with you, Axel... your my only friend..." I said.

"Well, night Roxas!" Axel said as he stood up, and started to

walked away,

"Night," I said back. Axel continued to walk.

"Oh, and Axel..." Axel turned his head slowly and looked my

direction.

"Thanks, you know, for, for being my friend..." Axel just

smiled again turned back around. He suddenly stopped right

by the edge of the tower and said, "Thank you too, Roxas."

Axel started to fall off the building. I quickly got up and ran

towards him, but when I got there he was gone out of sight.

I whispered his name while I looked down.

I studied the moon for a while before I went to bed.

That night I had the strangest dream, of a girl, with black

hair, she kept telling me to follow her... but I only denied.

Than she ran away from me, but I heard her voice mumble

something, but I didn't understand. Than, darkness took over

the skies and I fell,but something grabbed my hand and said,

"Don't let go Roxas, remember... please remember!" I woke

up before I could see her face.

Day 100

When I opened my eyes there was Axel, looking at me.

"What Axel?" I questioned.

He didn't say any thing.

I sat up on my bed, and looked at him with a puzzeled face.

Than he stepped to the side. There was that girl from my

dream, standing in my doorway.

"WHAT! HOW?"

I stood up and walked slowly towards her.

When I was face to face with her, she grabbed my

hand, pulled my ear to her mouth and whispered,"Don't let

go Roxas, remember, plea..!"

I quickly pulled away from her before she could finish.

Than she turned to dust, and my whole world went black

again. A large light shone in front of me, it was so bright I had

to sheild my eyes. A sweet voice came from the light.

"Follow me!" it faintly comanded.

This time I followed it.

"What do you want with me?" I yelled as I walked forward.

The voice said back,

"I want you to remember, now follow."

I hesitated to walk forwards, but I did anyway. The light

asked me a question. "What do you remember?"

I didn't answer, for there was nothing I did remember.

The light flashed, than a door appeared, I walked inside of it.

The room was so familiar. I said to the light, "Where am I, I

feel like I have been here... like I was here in a dream, many

years ago... It almost feels like it's, important..." The light

asked another question, "What does this room make you

feel?"

"I don't know!" I said back. I never knew people had feelings,

my eyes drifted away from the light, I looked around the

room. It had many seashells and colorful flowers, some on

the wall and some on the floor. A giant chandelier hung from

a small cord on the ceiling. I stepped forward to get a better

look at a picture on the wall in front of me, but when my foot

hit the

ground a whole bunch of black birds flew up and around

floor I was standing on changed every time a bird

flew off of it. I stepped back in surprise, as I watched the

birds fly.

I looked at the wall, now that I was closer, and saw a picture

of the girl from my dreams, she looked like she was sleeping.

All of a sudden dust came from the sky and formed the girl,

she was laying the same way she was in the picture.I knelt

down to see her. I moved the cover from her face, I didn't

get the cover fully off her face. Than out of nowhere I was

back in my room. I heard the light say one more thing while

the door I was once in faded to white,

"Do you remember?"

Day 101

I went back to the tower today. Axel didn't show up this

time, but the girl from my dream did.

"Hello again, Roxas." She said as she sat beside me. She

handed me some salty-sweet icecream. "Just like old times!"

She said as she smiled at me, than she stood up and started

to walk forward. I couldn't believe me eyes, the girl was

walking on air! I still don't remember who she is, or why she

is trying to make me remember something, but she surtanly

has my attension now. Every step she took she faded a little

more until she was gone.

Day 102

I keep having the same dream, but everytime it is a little

different. I am to scared to tell Axel because he might tease

me again. The only thing is that Saix keeps telling me that I

am slacking off. So maybe I should do some more missions,

that might put an end to these dreams. well I got to go to bed

if I am going to collect more hearts tomorrow, I just hope

someone comes with me, I havn't had a conversation in the

last two days.

Day 103

Today I started my new mission. Saix told me that I collected

more hearts this time then I ever did. I don't know why he is

so interested in hearts, I do know they are for Kingdom

Hearts but, why do we need them?

Day 104

I waited for an hour extra just hoping one of my friends

would come and join me for icecream. Still no one showed

up. I havn't seen Axel for the last four days. I hope he is okay.

Well my dreams have gotten longer, each time I get closer

and closer to seeing her face, but I do recall seeing it once. I

just don't remember.

Day 105

Me and Axel had our first fight today, this is how it went.

"Hey! Roxas" Axel said as he sat beside me. "Long time no

see!" he said again.

I just looked away, "Where have you been it's been four and

a half days Axel, FOUR AND A HALF!" I yelled

"IT'S NOW DAY 105 AND I STILL CAN'T TRUST

YOU TO BE THERE WHEN I NEED YOU!"

Axel stood there and stared at me, like he was a unversed (heartless)

and he was just waiting for me to attack. Than he got

feariouse,

"WELL, ROXAS! AT LEAST I CAN REMEMBER ONE

OF MY BEST FRIENDS! XION WOULD HAVE

REMEMBERED YOU ROXAS! SHE LOVED YOU

ROXAS YOUR HER BROTHER!" he screamed.

I whispered "Who could ever love a nobody? Excpesialy

one who lets his friends down?" I stood up and looked at

Axel. My face was wet with tears, it's the first time I cried.

"I guess nobodies do have emotions..." I wimpered.

"Roxas, I... don't cry, i'm sorry, But Xion she..."

Axel was going to say something, and it sounded important,

but I ran away before I could hear it.

Day 106

I avoided Axel today. I didn't want to face him after

yesturday. I still want to know what he was going to say.

My dreams have stopped, but right now I wish I was still

having them. I need answers, I gotta find that light again.

Day 107

I searched for that room that the light brought, but I couldn't

find it. I had the dream again though! I got one answer from

it, the light told me to talk to Axel and that something

important will come soon. I can't wait for tomorrow, to talk

to him!

Day 108

I talked to Axel today, and he told me what he was going to

say before I ran off. It turns out that before Xion left, she

erased my memory. So thats why the light wants me to

remember... I am going to remember, I will get you back

Xion! He also told me I have to remember her and try to find

her!

Day 109

...

Day 110

...

Day 111

This morning when I woke up there were seashells and

colourfull flowers on my floor, I followed them. I walked in

to Axel. He said in a really deep creepy voice,

"Glad to see your awake again! You sure you should follow

thoughs?"

I was very confused so I just ignored him. I can ask him about

it later, but right now I need to follow this trail...

Day 112

Axel said that Luxard was looking for me... I don't know

why, so I went to find Luxard in the courtyard, he told me

to stop chasing the light and get back to work. It sounded like

something Saix would say. This is confusing me... My life is

confusing me...

Day 113

"Day 110!" I said to Axel, as if he was supposed to be

impressed.

"Oh yeah..." Axel said longinly

"You were asleep for 2 days and that girl, the one your

looking for..."

"Xion?" I asked

"Yeah sure... she had seashells and flowers, and you were

following them. I tried to stop you, so you wouldn't get

should keep quiet, or you could go the wrong

way in life, Roxas." He answered, I squinted my face and

asked,

"Axel, I am supposed to find her right? You told me that

youself. So why were you trying to stop me?"

Axel looked down.

"Roxas... I'm sorry, but... I..."

Suddenly Axel yelled in pain, and his eyes turned red.

I stood up and started to back away. "Axel?"

When I said his name darkness surrounded him, he grabbed

his chest.

"Roxas..." Axel's voice kept getting deeper. He looked up at

me really fast, "RUN! I AM SORRY BUT," I knew now

another being was inside of Axel.

"I CAN'T BE YOUR FRIEND IF I AM MADE TO

BETRAY..."

At that moment my whole world was falling apart.

"I WILL NEVER LET YOU STOP BEING MY FRIEND

AXEL! YOUR, YOUR MY BROTHER!" I screamed as I

broke out in tears. The tears rolled down my

face, they stung my skin at the touch. Axel threw his weapon

at the tower wall, one of the blades stuck in the wall.

My cloak blew softly with the wind while my hair blew side

to side. I closed my eyes and fell to my knees,

"My, brother." I whispered while one last tear slipped away.

When I opened my eyes I saw Axels feet.

I slowly looked up.

Axel quickly picked me up by the neck, then he hung me over

the edge of the tower. My feet kicked as my hands were busy

trying to pry his hands from my throat. I gasped for air. Each

time I grabed his hand, his grip got tighter.

"A... Axel, I kn... know it's no.. not you..." I caughed.

One of my hands fell uncousiouse. When the other one

started to lose it's grip, he backed up and placed me back one

the tower, his hands still clutching my throat. When he let

go I fell, than he ran. I grabbed his weapon out of the wall

and sat for a while.

Day 114

I kept waking up in the middle of the night. I finally desided to

take a walk. It was dark in the halls of the Organization. I

walked passed a door, I heard noises coming from it. I gently

put my ear to it to listen. I didn't hear anything but sounds that

made me think about light. I reached to the door nob, I

quietly turned it and opened the door. When I walked in a

light shawn.

I saw her. The girl, Xion, talking to the light. Xion stopped

talking and turned my direction. I had a small flash back of

Axel walking of the tower.

Without skipping a beat I was running towards her. When I

came face to face with her, I figured out she was still

wearing the mask from last time, since I had not taken it off

her all the way.

I carfully brought my hands to her face and placed them

gently on the mask. I slowly pulled it off of her face.

The first things I saw were her eyes. The moment I saw

them I reached my arms out and I hugged her. It took her a

while to realize I was hugging her, but when she did she

softly wrapped her arms around me. I whispered,

"welcome back... Xion..."

Still hugging her, I looked into her eyes. She put her hand on

my face,

"Rox..as... thank you..." Xion pulled her hand away from

my face, and put it up to her lips.

"Your, okay now... Xion." I whispered. I held Xion tightly in

my arms, "I missed you!" she exclaimed as she rested her

head on my shoulder. Xion started to cry.

"I am so happy, you remember me, Roxas please don't forget

me again." Xion grabbed my hand and fell to her knees, her

head faceing the ground. "I thought you would be happier if

you forgot me, Roxas, I am so sorry... " Xions hand

slowly fell from mine. I grabbed her hand again and knelt in

front of her. I grabbed her face and made her look at mine,

She stared into my eyes, I said,

"Xion, if you had never erased my mind, I would have never

realized how much I... how much I love you..."

Day 115

I never knew that a nobody could love until yesturday...

maybe we do have hearts... maybe, we are somebodies! I

can't get my hopes up that we are though. I am just so happy

I remember. The one peice in my life isn't missing anymore,

but it just switched spots with another peice in my life...

"Axel..." I whispered as I held his weapon.

"Why!" I screamed as I threw the object on the floor.I

barried my head in my knees, when Xion walked in.

"I brought hot coco..." she had a worried tone in her voice.

Xion walked forward not noticing Axels weapon on the

floor. Xion walked right into it and tripped. Without even

realizing it she was in my arms, I had caught her.

"You okay Xion?" I asked.

Xion was to surprised to answer.

"Good" I said as I lifted her up to her feet. "Now be more

careful, and watch where you are going!" I comanded.

"I, I don't want to lose you again..."

Xion blushed at my comment.

She told me she was sorry about the mess, and that she

would clean it up, but I told her we could do it together...

thats what friends are for right? Xion tilted her head and

smiled.

"Yeah, thats what,friends,are for..."

Day 116

Xion has been acting weird around me lately. I don't know

why but I am going to ask her. Axel hasn't been around so

Saix told me that I _have _to go and find him. I don't want to

say this but, I am kind of scared to go look for Axel... he,

might try and, kill me, again... but I guess I have to go if Saix

says so.

Day117

I was woken up to a terrifying screech. I quickly got out of

bed and ran toward the sound. It was coming from Xion's

room, I didn't even have to think twice about opening the

door.

"XION!" I yelled as I looked around her room. She wasn't

there. The window was opened and the blinds blew in the

breeze.

"R... Roxas, is th...that you?" A voice stuttered, it was coming

from the closet. I slowly walked up to the closet and opened

it. Before I could even see what was in the closet something

grabbed me and pulled me into the closet. The doors closed

really fast. "What? Whats going on?" I asked.

"Quiet, Roxas, he is going to come back. Oh and it's me,

Xion!" I was very confused about what she was talking

about, but I did what she tole me and kept quiet. Two hours

had paced, I had fallen asleep. It was a very uncomfortable

sleep. I finally woke up, but Xion and I were still in the

closet. I opened the door to the daylight, I quickly covered

Xion's eyes because she was asleep. I moved my hand away

from her eyes and moved in front of her, and I picked her up.

I walked over to her bed and placed her on it. I slowly pulled

her covers up to her shoulders and than closed the window

and the blinds so she could sleep. I didn't leave the room

though. I closed the door and sat in front of it and stared at

the window, in case the person or thing she talked about was

going to come back.

Day 118

Xion slept all day. The person or thing didn't come

back. I am just happy she is okay and didn't get hurt. I am off

to find Axel today. I hope I can find him, after all, he is my

brother...

Day 119

"Where are you?" I asked out loud as I ran through the trees.

I pulled out my keyblade and killed some heartless as I ran,

why not collect a few hearts on the way? I ran so fast I didn't

notice the tree stumb, and like Xion, I tripped. Anxious too

find Axel, I got up and started to run again. This time I was

watching my feet and not the trail in front of me.

"AXEL! I HAVE TO FIND YOU!" I screamed at the top of

my lungs. I stopped by a tree to catch my breath. I put my

hood up so that no one could see my face. Just than I heard

foot steps walk by. I made my face hidden by looking down.

"Hey! You there!" I looked up,I lifted my hand and pulled

the hood down to keep my identity a secret. "Hmm?"I

mumbled.

"You seen a yelling kid anywhere? I want to tell him or her

where Axel is..." Since I had my face hidden I couldn't see

the person, so I slowly took my hood off only to see Axel,

standing there Leaning on the tree across from me. His arms

were crossed. Axel laughed a dissapointed laugh, like he

wasn't expecting me.

"I thought Saix would have sent me a challange!" Axel

smirked, he ran at me with his weapons in hand. I quickly

jumped up and doged it. "I know you arn't Axel..."

I said as I summand my keyblade. I took a swing at him but I

missed. Axel ran up the side of a tree and backflipped onto

another one. He stayed in that tree for a while,

"Than who am I?" He questioned.

I looked up at Axel and than at my feet,

"Like I said before... My brother..." I looked back up and

Axel was gone. I looked around for him, I didn't see him.

Suddenly everything went black...

Day 120

I opened my eyes and I couldn't move, the room was pitch

black and I couldn't see a thing. My head and back really

hurt. Quickly a light turned on and I could see. I looked

down and realized I was tied up to a chair. I started to get

worried,

"What is this?" I screamed, Axel slowly walked out of a

door. He laughed an evil laugh.

"I know what it is!" Axel paused and slowly walked around

me. With out even a breath there was a knife to my throat.

"It's you death Roxas..." He breathed deeply as he pulled my

head back and moved the knife closer.

"I'm sorry Roxas, but, you can't live any longer. I need the

unknown heart..."Axel continued.

"What? An unknown heart? Axel... I am a nobody, I don't

have a heart?" I questioned, he got mad and pulled my head

back more. He told me the further back my head was the

more painful so I shouldn't talk.

"Roxas... You have a heart... You are a somebody!" Axel

laughed! I whispered to my self "I'm sorry Xion, but, I have to

do this, I have to Die for you..." I yelled "Axel your going

crazy something is overwelming you!Stop before you go to

far!" All of a sudden the knife fell to the floor and slid away. I

saw Axel fall to the ground. I tried to get out of the chains,

but they wouldn't losen. I saw a black shadow rise out of

Axel, it stood and looked at me with it's glowing yellow eyes.

Than it walked over to the knife and picked it up. I started to

struggle with the chains. I was starting to lose my breath. The

figure slowly walked towards me, the chains fell to my feet, I

stood up without knowing the figure was in front of me. A

sharp pain stung through my chest. I soon realized the dark

figure had stabbed me where my hearts location is. I fell to

my knees and pulled the knife out of my chest and dropped it.

I fell forward, I caughed and gasped for air.

"Roxas!" A voice called, it sounded like Xion. It was Xion,

she ran to me. Xion stopped right in front of me and looked

at Axel, than back at me. She kneeled beside me and held me

in her arms. She moved my hair away from my eyes.

"Oh Roxas, what happened to you" She asked as she moved

her hand slowly down my face. I put my hand on her face

and said, "I don't need a super hero for this..." I moved my

hand from her face and grabbed her hand and continued "I

just need you hand in mine..." Xion stared at me and took her

other hands and put them up to her mouth, she shook her

head and started to cry. I moved Xions hands from her

mouth than I slowly brought her head down and I kissed her.

Than my head fell, and she whispered my name.

Day 121

...

Day123

...

Day 124

It turns out I do have a "heart",and I almost did die, but it

was only a injury so it heals. I did miss three days.

It sucks bing in bed for three days, if Xion

had never came me and Axel would have died. Also if the

shadow never came... I would have never known I had a

"heart" and I wouldn't of remembered Xion... so maybe that

shadow was a good thing, but I was the only one who saw

it, everyone else said I was going crazy...

Day 125

"Still asleep huh?" Xion asked as she walked towards me

and Axel.

"Yeah, I hope he gets up soon...it would be good to hang

out with him, now the dark spirit is out of him..." Xion

sighed and sat beside me on Axel's bed.

"We just got to keep hoping it's fully gone Roxas." Xion

kissed me on the cheek and slowly walked away.

Day 126

Today Saix told me on friday, there is going to be a dance...

"Why would the organization want a dance?" I asked Xion

as I through a ball to the ground, it quickly bounced back up

to my hands.

"I know there are only boys in the organization, besides me

and Namine..." I lughed and agreed with Xion's opinoin.

Xion and I played with the ball for a while.

We fell to the ground in laughter. I sighed of exostion.

"Tired?" she teased.

"Not the least bit!" I said sarcasticly. We locked on to each

others eyes. " I never knew eyes could glisten so, beautifly..."

I whispered. Luckily Xion didn't hear exactly what I said, or I

would be embarressed. I quickly sat up and looked into the

night sky.

"Maybe, a dance wouldn't be so." I slowly turned my

head to Xion as I said "Bad..." I smiled and tilted my head.

Day 127

"Axel! He is awake! Roxas wake up wake up!" A voice rang

through my ear. My eyes opened, I asked Xion what was

going on.

"He's awake!" She yelled. I already knew who she was

talking about. I got up and started to run. I remembered Xion

by the time I was at my door way. I stopped running. I turned

around and slowly put my hand out. "Ya' Comin'?" I asked.

She smiled and grabbed my hand. We ran to Axels room.

When I got there he was the first thing I saw. I swiftly ran up

to Axel and hugged him. "Your alive Roxas." He laughed as

he messed my hair up with his hand. "Yeah!"


End file.
